The idea of going back to the long-abandoned detached cocoon is very enticing. I would give anything to fling everything away and lock myself in my house for days. It's getting very tiring, to interact with humans.
I used to think life's a play, humans the actors and world the stage. I thought everyone had their own designated roles, with dialogues written up way beyond Time began. What i didn't know, is that the script could be ever-changing. What you received at the start, seemed to unravel and reveal more mystery as time passes. Scenarios and actions which you haven't seen, and most probably unexpected. You adapt, you switch roles. Sometimes, you couldn't read the lines. Sometimes, you forget the lines. There are times, whereby you flip the script close and lie against your conscience.
I thought i had a good script in hand.
There i was, giving a dazzling performance. I knew my lines well. Yet, words get thrown back into my face. I turned around. There was no one there to watch.
I was performing to an audience, which doesn't exist. No one know the effort i put in, adapting to the roles that were constantly evolving. How hard i tried to memorise the lines that were given to me last minute.
I was alone by myself, all the time. I thought i was sharing my happiness, my sorrows; shedding my tears, roaring out my anguish to people watching.
*Simon Reynolds Better than Chocolate: 50 Proven Ways To Feel Happier *Mandy Sayer Velocity: A Memoir *Koren Zailckas Smashed - Growing Up A Drunk Girl *Neil Gaiman Smoke and Mirrors *Richard Lederer The Cunning Linguist *Nelly Arcan Whore *Kathy Lette How to Kill Your Husband (& other handy household hints) *Jodi Picoult Plain Truth *Lionel Shriver We Need to Talk About Kevin *Lionel Shriver Double Fault *James Frey My Friend Leonard *Jeffery Archer A Prison Diary. Vol I - Belmarsh: Hell. Vol II - Wayland: Purgatory. Vol III - Heaven
1. Many people often mis-spell or mis-pronounce my name.
2. I am 159cm tall. Stop laughing.
3. I have a typical Leo character. Big ego, feisty etc.
4. I am a narcissist aka a camwhore.
5. I am loud. Very.
6. I have my occasional regular bouts of depression.
7. I am a born bookworm and mugger.
8. My favourite colour is purple!
9. I am ailurophobic.
10. I am very indecisive.
11. I have this bad habit of not separating numbers before nouns when i blog.
12. I like to whistle.
13. I have grammar and subject-verb agreement problems.
14. I like to dance, though i cannot really.
15. I am a day-dreamer, even at night.
16. I can talk about anything all day long.
17. I am a crapper. *see above
18. I am always sneezing.
19. I am a hopeless romantic.
20. I sing out of tune all the time.
21. I am very wild.
22. My facade is cute! ^0^
23. I am a half-good, half-bad person.
24. I am selfish.
25. I am a girl, albeit a tomboy.
26. I look better in photos. ^-^
27. I am very impatient.
28. I cannot tolerate people acting stupid / clever.
29. I am very bossy at times.
30. I cannot bear the thought of eating alone.
31. I like jogging. ^.^
32. I want to learn the piano. Practically crazy 'bout it.
33. My daily sleeping hours can be counted on 1 hand.
34. I am old ; aching everywhere. 35. I seldom worry about BIG stuff like the sky falling on me.
36. I worry about nitty gritty things. 37. I can't follow.
38. I am very ambitious.
39. And sadistic.
40. I have an addiction : cute guys. 41. I write cliche poems.
42. I love myself.
43. Addiction #2 : Shopping and spending money.
44. I have a wish : To shit everyday.
45. I like to scream.
46. I do not like to lose my voice.
47. I wish i could scream and not lose my voice.
48. I am very (self) contradictory.
49. I am neurotic about arrangement of things in my life.
50. I arrange things alphabetically, by colours or shapes.
51. People complaining about high dental costs irk me off.
52. I love to eat bread.
53. I can play the guzheng.
54. I write better than i speak.
55. I speak badly incoherently.
56. I almost always never finishes my sentences.
57. I experienced full fledged jealousy at age of 17.
58. I am always thinking of the worst possible case.
59. I dare not hope to hope.
60. I am usually in a pensive mood.
61. Hm. Horny. Me? Hmm..
62. I have a high sex drive. =D
63. I love dirty jokes.
64. And normally could get them immediately.
65. I am very reckless and often run headlong into brewing trouble.
66. I get very nervous when i have to do a presentation regarding physics.
67. I love to clean my ears, even when it's cleaned. HAHA.
68. I snore when i sleep. *snorts.
69. This is my favourite number. =)
70. I want to be a person without yeast ; to breathe and grow on my own.
71. I dream of fame and recognition on alternate days.
72. I panick about national exams (read: A level) every other day.
73. I have got a very big sweet tooth.
74. I love with all my heart possible.
75. I am an attention-seeking bitch.
76. I am quite a social creature.
77. Yet, i love the quiet moments with my book and chocolate cake in hand.
78. I am crazy.
79. I have an extremely bad sense of direction.
80. I can type fast. =D
81. I have a runaway nose most of the time.
82. I have a big hip which is disproportionate on my body.
83. I am hopeless with directions.
84. I am always blog-hopping.
85. I have a passion for languages.
86. And huge interest in sciences.